The official student newspaper at the University of Houston-Clear Lake

10 tips for a traditionally Irish St. Paddy’s Day

Waiting all year for green beer

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CORRECTION: 3/20/2017 – Headline and article edited to correct the spelling of St. Paddy’s Day. Previously, the headline and article included the phrase “St. Patty’s Day.”

Get out your Irish dancing shoes, wash your “Kiss Me I’m Irish” shirt (even if you aren’t Irish), pick some clovers and stock the fridge with Irish whiskey and Guinness because St. Patrick’s Day is almost here. Whether you plan on going out or staying home with friends, here are some tips to ensure that your St. Patrick’s Day is full of luck and fun!

Plan on going out on the town? GET A DESIGNATED DRIVER!

Volunteer Jennifer Van Vleet experiences what it would be like to be arrested after failing a field sobriety test. Photo courtesy of Oregon Department of Transportation
Volunteer Jennifer Van Vleet experiences what it would be like to be arrested after failing a field sobriety test. Photo courtesy of Oregon Department of Transportation.
  • Harris county is the No. 1 county in Texas for traffic accidents and fatalities. Likewise, traffic fatalities in Texas and Harris County are highest among 21 to 35-year-olds. Spring break and St. Patrick’s Day are also popular “No Refusal Weekends,” when judges are on call to issue warrants for on-the-spot blood tests. Stay out of jail and out of the hospital; drive sober or get a designated driver!

So you decided not to drink or you found a designated driver for the night! Where should you go?

Event flyer for McGonigel's Mucky Duck St. Patrick's Day party. Photo courtesy of McGonigel's Mucky Duck.
Event flyer for McGonigel’s Mucky Duck St. Patrick’s Day party. Photo courtesy of McGonigel’s Mucky Duck.
  • If you want the full St. Patrick’s Day Irish experience, your best bet is to head over to McGonigel’s Mucky Duck. The festivities kick off at 11 a.m. and last until close. McGonigel’s boasts such traditional Irish fare as fish and chips, shepherd’s pie, corned beef and cabbage and, of course, Guinness! Throughout the day there will be traditional Celtic folk music and Irish dancing performances. Tickets are $20 in advance and $22 at the door.

Don’t feel like venturing all the way into downtown? Molly’s has you covered!

Molly's plans to offer a variety of St. Patrick's Day "shenanigans." Photo courtesy of www.houstonirishpubs.com/
Molly’s plans to offer a variety of St. Patrick’s Day “shenanigans.” Photo courtesy of Houston Irish Pubs.
  • With more than 18 Houston and Galveston area locations, you don’t have to look far for a St. Patrick’s Day celebration. If you need a place to toss back some green booze, drown the shamrock and enjoy some bagpipes, check out Molly’s!

Bar scene not your… scene? Check out Michael Londra’s Celtic Fire for free at the Miller Outdoor Theatre!

Dancers perform a traditional Irish during "Celtic Fire." Photo courtesy of Miller Outdoor Theatre.
Dancers perform a traditional Irish during “Celtic Fire.” Photo courtesy of Miller Outdoor Theatre.
  • Showcasing the best of Irish dancing and music, Celtic Fire’s world famous performance promises to impress audiences. The best part? IT’S FREE! Seriously, it costs nothing! Located in Hermann park, there is no shortage of activities for the family to enjoy before the show. So, grab a blanket and some snacks and leave your wallet at home!

Don’t plan on leaving your house? Invite some friends over for a St. Paddy’s dance party!

  • Nothing says St. Patrick’s Day better than some good Celtic tunes. Check out our St. Patrick’s Day playlist to make sure your party is properly Irish.

What is more Irish than watching “The Leprechaun?” Watching “Leprechaun in the Hood” of course!

Leprechaun 4: In Space movie poster. Photo courtesy of Lionsgate.
Leprechaun 4: In Space movie poster. Photo courtesy of Lionsgate.
  • This one doesn’t need much explanation. It’s the freaking Leprechaun! Nothing is more traditionally Irish. NOTHING! For bonus St. Patrick’s points, watch “Leprechaun 4: In Space!”

Well, your party is pretty lame so far. Why not kick it up a notch and drown the shamrock?

A patch of shamrocks on the UHCL campus. Photo courtesy of Leif Hayman.
A patch of shamrocks on the UHCL campus. Photo by The Signal reporter of Leif Hayman.
  • Take a cup and place a shamrock from your yard in the bottom, then pour in some whiskey. Bottoms up! Swallow the shamrock or throw it over your shoulder. Now you have good luck. Congratulations, you magnificent drunken beast!

You will need that luck if you are going to survive this popular Irish pub game, “Fuzzy Duck.”

  • Make sure everyone has a full drink and sit in a circle. To begin, one person simply looks at the person to their left and says, “fuzzy duck.” This continues around the circle until someone decides to say “does he” or “duzzy.” The direction switches and the person to the right says “ducky fuzz.” If someone makes a mistake or speaks out of turn, they take a drink. Rest assured, there will be lots of accidental cursing and hours of entertainment.

Once everyone is nice and drunk, they will get hungry.

A photo of completed Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes. Photo courtesy of BrownEyedBaker.
A photo of completed Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes. Photo courtesy of BrownEyedBaker.

Good morning. Yes, you drank too much last night. No, I’m not yelling at you. It is time to get one last St. Patrick’s Day celebration in.

A bowl of Lucky Charms WITHOUT Advil mixed in. Photo courtesy of Sarah Mahala Photography & Makeup Artistry.
A bowl of Lucky Charms WITHOUT Advil mixed in. Photo courtesy of Sarah Mahala Photography & Makeup Artistry.
  • DISCLAIMER: Seriously, though, don’t do this. It is terrible for you!
  • Crush up some Advil into a cereal bowl and mix in some Lucky Charms, you earned it! Lucky would be proud.
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