PHOTO: A man and a woman are sitting at a park bench, she is talking with her hands and he is looking at his mobile device. Photo by The Signal reporter Kathryn Wickenhofer. — Technology can be a factor in the success of modern day relationships. Photo by The Signal reporter Kathryn Wickenhofer.

Relationships failing because of social media usage

By Kathryn Wickenhofer On Mar 4, 2019 598 0

“We are forgetting how to communicate,” says Tony A. Gaskins, Jr., motivational speaker, author and life coach. “Adults are letting ‘social media’ ruin their relationships. Talk to your partner and stop letting inboxes, likes, and retweets ruin what you’re trying to build.”

In this day and age, most people’s lives revolve around their phones and social media. For most of us it has become a habit to immediately click on Facebook, Snapchat, or any other social media the minute the alarm clock goes off in the mornings. That is becoming everyone’s morning routine, and it’s kind of pathetic. It is even sadder watching couples trying to enjoy a late night dinner date engrossed with scrolling through their social media feed instead of paying attention to each other. It can be heartbreaking.

From a young age, one of the first things children learn is to socialize with other children. During this time it is essential to learn the values of how to treat and communicate with others. Nowadays, children and adults are spending a lot more time looking at screens and a lot less time having in-person conversations. This lack of face-to-face interaction is having a negative impact on this decade’s dating world.

PHOTO:Technology has been shown to have a profound impact on relationships. Photo by The Signal reporter Kathryn Wickenhofer. — Technology has been shown to have a profound impact on relationships. Photo by The Signal reporter Kathryn Wickenhofer.

Millennials are depending on online dating social media sites to meet a lover rather than going out in public to form a relationship. Relationships that form online sometimes have trouble making the transition to healthy in-person dating. Often in an online relationship, the lovers will develop their own positive illusion of what the other person will be like. Physically and mentally, online dating will become difficult until people learn to accept that their online lover won’t be everything they imagined them to be.

A study conducted by Pew Research center reports, “24 percent of individuals think technology has either a negative or less-than-positive impact on relationships.” Pew also reports that “15 percent of Americans recently reported using online dating sites to meet people, and online dating is gaining wider acceptance across most age ranges, notably tripling among people age 18-24 from 10 percent to 27 percent between 2013 and 2015. Yet, 1/3rd of people who have used a dating site have never met up for an in-person date. Lastly, in spite of the rise in online dating, only 5 percent of married couples or those in a committed relationship say they met their partners online, and 88 percent of people say they met their partners via conventional means.”

Another danger of social media on relationships is the tendency for personal affairs to be played out before an audience. Whatever people in a relationship post on social media means they are accepting that the whole world will know all of their personal and relationship business and likely offer their own opinions.

For example, let’s say Barbie and Ken break up, and Ken decides to let his anger control his emotions and posts a nude picture of Barbie all over social media. In June 2015, a signed law called “Revenge Porn” is defined as a law that involves a person posting explicit photos of an ex or whoever without permission. The Texas law makes revenge porn a Class A misdemeanor with up to a year jail time and $4,000 fine.

“Revenge porn is something that happens often leading to lawsuits and misdemeanor cases,” says Will Boutte, Harris County criminal lawyer. “It’s really sad how focused people are with social media all the time. If social media is that important then there’s something else missing in your life. There’s something else that you could be doing but you’re not doing. I see a lot of people using social media as posting what you are doing like going to the bar and posting pictures on social media. Ending in more of a crucial sentence because your probation office along with everyone in the world sees it.”

Relationships are difficult because they involve a lot of important and interacting communication. Often people in relationships spend most of their time on their phone and paying more attention to social media likes than their partner. This could potentially harm the relationship. Even without the extreme of revenge porn, realize that posting emotions or feelings about the significant other in the relationship on a Facebook news feed instead of in person can become an issue in a current relationship. During a relationship, times may get tough, and there will be disagreements. How the people in the relationship choose to handle the situation will show their level of maturity and the value they place on the relationship.

For example, two lovers get into an argument and it leads to a breakup. One party lets his or her emotions take control and goes on Facebook posting about how much he or she hates the other person who just broke his or her heart.

“This is a violation of your partner’s relationship and only shows your desperate need to feel important and be noticed,” said Jane Greer, New York-based relationship counselor and author, in Brides Magazine.

In conclusion, giving social media every little detail of a relationship is something that needs to be controlled. Instead limit the use of social media when you are in the presence of others and, use social media as a tool to post positive support toward a significant other.